SHOULD I PURCHASE SEX TOYS?

Heyyy Sis, Heeyyy Friend, Fam let’s air hug…

Well since the last time we talked things have drastically changed… How are you holding up? I am a hugger so my new way of hugging is sending air hugs! Sooo on today I am sending you so many air hugs wherever you are. Please send me some hugs back!

Sis, seriously how have you been? If you had to choose how you are feeling today based on a weather forecast what would your temperature be? Are you a little cloudy? Are you feeling snowy? Is it raining in your world? Are you feeling sunny? How are you feeling on today? 

Well sis… I honestly wish you could see my face right now. I believe we have already said,” I HAVE TO WORK ON MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS!” LIKE I JUST HAVE TOO! I’m still working on that. So just bare with me! Okayy… Thank you… 

You know how people will try and check on you and see how you are doing. I am going to be honest I love check-ins with my family, my sisters, and my friends. I like when we can just be honest and transparent about how we have been feeling. This situation I am getting ready to tell you about has made me realize that check-ins with people that aren’t my family, my sisters, or my friends is going to be somewhat different. 

So I am talking with this young lady… 

Can I just throw this out there first… I am starting to believe that SOME people think that single people HAVE NO LIFE because they are single. Which I think is really rude and almost belittling. Like… Do you really think single people put their whole life on pause just because we aren’t in a relationship? Let me not get started, that's a whole other topic sisss. Anyway let me get back to the story. The person starts to ask me how am I doing? I start by saying how grateful I am that God has brought me so far in life. I’ve honestly felt like 2019 and 2020 have really been self- discovery years for me. 

So anyway the conversation starts to switch to “but you are single”... “you don’t have a man”. I answered sweetly.. “No, right now I am just getting to know myself a little better and I am operating on God’s timing!” I start to explain that even though I am single I still have purpose and excitement about life! I’m thankful that God has taught me that a relationship doesn’t define MY identity.

& THEN the conversation totally turns into a direction I wasn’t ready for… The young lady says well your life could be so much better right now if you invested in “SEX TOYS since you don’t have a man”. HOLD UP HUH? DID SHE REALLY JUST SAY THAT?

My mouth just kind of dropped sis… I know.... Let’s PAUSE. JUST TAKE A DEEP BREATH WITH ME. First, can we just say I really didn’t know how to respond to that statement. Like I didn’t even see her saying something like that. Here I am thinking about all of the things going on in the world and that is the advice you want to give someone “purchase sex toys”.. since you don’t have a man”. I then had to respond with a smile and say “No, sex toys are not something that I am intersted in”. 

I am not going to lie, I walked away from that conversation with so many thoughts running through my mind… Another part of me just felt disgusted with the comment the young lady made to me. I just started to wonder and ask God so many questions. Like God am I missing out on something? God does my life seem boring? God I feel fine with not being in a relationship right now ..should I be feeling different? 

Sis, brother, friend, family, cousin, auntie, and uncle… I know that the world is trying to tell us to do so many things with the extra time we have on our hands. But I want to encourage you to stay focused on the season that God has us in. Every day social media and people are trying to influence us to do things that God isn’t telling us to do. 

We have to learn the difference between God’s voice and man’s voice because if not, we will be caught up in things that we have no business in. 

If this is the season that God wants you to rest… then please rest… don’t get caught up in things that take away from your resting. 

If this is your season to spend time with your family… Then try not to complain about your family but love on them because tomorrow is never promised.

If this is your season to be single then I pray that you are patient. Don’t settle for something less than what God originally has for you. Some people during this time are bored. They are going to text you, call you, and DM you. Please don’t allow something that may feel good for a few moments interrupt what God has for you in the future. 

If this is your season to write a book then I pray that God gives you the discipline you need to write what He has placed on your heart. 

If this is your season to TRUST IN THE LORD because so many things are changing in your life then I hope that prayer becomes your new normal.

If this is your season to start a business or a ministry I pray that God gives you a heart to do this for HIM and not man.

If this is your season to exercise and form healthier eating habits I pray that God blocks all the food distractions and fills your mind with things that will benefit your body.

If this is your season to take a break from social media because you are constantly finding yourself scrolling. It’s fun to scroll and look at everyone else’s life but let’s start paying more attention to our own life. Please take this time to unplug to communicate with yourself and God. 

So my question to you is…. What season is this for you? I am not asking about someone else’s season or someone else’s suggestions… I am asking you to take a look at yourself and see what God wants you to focus on right now.

There are so many distractions right now… LIKE SO MANY… I know it is easy for us to lose focus right now but let’s readjust our lens and see what God wants us to see. 

Please don’t leave me by myself. Are you still in? Let’s focus!

RECOMMENDED FOCUS TOOLS: 

FOCUS BIBLE VERSE: Proverbs 4:25

“Keep looking straight ahead, without turning aside.”

FOCUS WERK: Crushing 3 goals a week

Sissss, as we are trying to get focused I want us to set some guidelines for this thing! I want us to set 3 goals that we want to accomplish by this time next week! Let’s hold ourselves accountable. Your goal could be resting more, spending more time with your children, writing a chapter for your new book, spending time with God daily, exercising, finding employment. Your goals don’t have to be extreme! Let’s just start somewhere! Can I count you in? 

I’m always rooting for you sis!

Love you so much! 

Sending you so many virtual air hugs!

Najma Calhoun